All I want for Christmas is...

I have been a serious slacker when it comes to blogging. What has it been, over a month now?

With the new job, holiday parties and facebook addictions who has the time for blogging?

Anyway, this time of year brings back a lot of memories. Some are good, some are bad but it always gets me thinking. My Grandma passed away when I was only 17 and my Mom never really kept up the relationship with her side of the family. For years I was not able to celebrate Christmas with our family because I chose not to keep in contact with them either. It was never a conscious decision on my part or my Mom's we are both just horrible at keeping in touch with people.

After my Mom passed away I really started thinking about her side of the family and it occurred to me that if I don't start keeping in touch with my cousins now, I am not going to have much family left once I get older. I don't have any grandparents left, my dad is already getting up there in age, and my siblings are all much older than me. To make a long story short- er... for the last couple years it has once again become a tradition to enjoy the holidays with my family.

Growing up Jewish (my Dad is Jewish and my Mom converted) I was always torn between what I should believe and what I do believe so I chose not to believe at all. To me the holidays are about celebrating with family, enjoying what life has to offer, being happy and sharing with others. However, when my Dad found out that I was getting into the spirit of Christmas by stringing up lights in my bedroom a few years ago....he flipped out!!!

Now that I have been living on my own for a while, I have been contemplating about putting up a Christmas tree but I feel guilty because I know it would upset my dad. I am all for mixed relationships, and I have always said I want to meet a guy who makes me happy regardless of his religion but I don't want to feel the guilt that goes along with having a family that my father does not approve of.

My parents chose this life for me so why should I feel bad for trying to enjoy the best of the "cards that they dealt me"?

The Imperfect Storm

I just wanted to say to all my friends and family in California

I hope those fires stay FAR, far away from you and please stay safe!!! My thoughts and prayers go out to all of you and keep in touch if you can!

When life throws you lemons...

Well, it has been a couple weeks since I have posted and I am still not working full-time. The company that I was so psyched to be working for kind of screwed me because they had me go through the orientation and many hours of training and then proceeded to tell me that they had no clients anywhere in my area. The closest one they have right now is over 2 HOURS AWAY!

I have been working odd jobs here and there, pet sitting, and lots of babysitting but I am getting discouraged! Our economy is so bad right now and I have made a lot of mistakes in my 30 years that have severely affected the way my life is now. When my Mom got sick I was in school, taking at least 3 classes a week and when she really started getting bad, I had to cut back on my work hours and quit school altogether. It was a combination of wanting to be there as much as I could (which I regret I did not do as often as I wanted to because it was just too painful to see her like that.) and the financial burden that her illness caused. I loved my mom very much and I was happy to give all that up if it meant her getting better. Once she passed away I was forced to work too many hours a week to go back. Now I am finally ready to take that step towards bettering my future and I can't get financial aid! At least not until I pull up my GPA which I had no idea had anything to do with getting help.

It seems like I have exhausted all my options and all I want to do is get back to school, become a nurse and take care of people!

Not to mention the paycheck wouldn't be so bad either!

Nothing new to write about so....

While wandering around the mall today (I didn't buy anything. Can you believe it?) I decided to stop into the pet store.

I have always been told not to buy pets in a pet store, especially dogs and cats.

Usually they are not purebred and although this place seems to take excellent care of their animals, I don't think I would buy a dog from them. They were all so cute though... I just wanted to take every single one home with me.

Anyway, after staring at all the puppies for what seemed like hours, I went to hold the bunnies. The dutch rabbit

was so cuddly he just curled up under my chin. Another rabbit I have never heard of, called the lionhead rabbit actually sniffed my hand and licked me.

Next I decided to go check out the birds. I'm definitely not a bird expert and that is probably why the signs on all the display cases say you must be at least 18 to touch the animals.

No one was around but I have gone there before and never had a problem with any of the animals. Today was a different story.

They had a new breed of bird. I don't remember what she was but this bird was absolutely gorgeous. She was bigger than a parakeet but not by much, with the brightest green, yellow, red, and orange feathers I have ever seen. I slowly put my hand in, let her smell it. She climbs up on my finger and starts walking up my arm. I didn't want her to climb on my back where I couldn't reach her so I tried to get her to climb on my finger again and... SHE BITES ME!!!! HARD! She even drew blood!

I am such an animal lover, It really didn't bother me to much and I'm even thinking about working there one or two days a week just to spend more time with the animals. I could stay in that place for days.

TAG! You're it

I have now been tagged twice, so like Mike I suppose I'd better do one of these too. 10 YEARS AGO, I WAS…

1. A year out of high school and trying to figure out what to do with my life
2. Going to school for Early Childhood education
3. Taking acting classes
4. A new driver (only had my license for 2 years..barely)
5. You're typical 20 year old

5 THINGS ON TODAY’S TO DO LIST

1. Laundry
2. Watch movies
3. Clean my Apartment (gotta love those chores)
4. Return some calls
5. Continue with the Advil for ear infection pain

5 THINGS I WOULD DO IF I WERE A MILLIONAIRE

1. Pay off debts
2. Donate to charities
3. Travel everywhere (overseas, all over the US, Cruises, etc..)
4. Buy a new sporty car (not sure what kind though)
5. Buy a house

5 PLACES I HAVE LIVED

1. Franklin, MI
2. West Bloomfield, MI
3. Huntington Woods, MI
4. Kents Hill, ME
5. Farmington Hills, MI

5 JOBS I HAVE HAD

1. First ever job- Babysitting
2. Extended hour Day Care center
3. STAPLES
4. Marshall Fields
5. Sunrise Assisted Living

Ok, I'm tagging Josh, Jaime, and Sarah!! (I know some of you have already been tagged,sorry, I don't know enough bloggers yet)

Insomnia...Gotta love it!

I can't sleep so I thought I would give you all an update.It has been quite a while since I have posted but I have been busy working sporadically, while trying to find either another full-time job or a full-time case with this company. I love the work but it is a bit frustrating that they have all these cases but none of them are anywhere near where I live. Anyway, enough complaining... On the 11th of this month my cousin got married. The wedding was absolutely fabulous. The centerpieces were gorgeous, and she had the most spectacular wedding planner I have ever met. My Aunt and Uncle live in commerce on a lake, and my cousin decided to have both the ceremony and the reception at their house. They rented a huge tent, hired a caterer and the wedding planner...and left it in the hands of professionals to make this a night they would never forget. I'm sure all of us will never forget it either! That's all for now. Enjoy the pictures! As you can see, my hair chose not to cooperate at all that night but I'm sure the professional pics will be much better. Hopefully!

Writers block at it's finest

I know it has been a long time since I've posted but to be honest nothing new has happened, or at least nothing I want to write about.

This weekend is going to be very hectic. My birthday was on the 14th and I am having a huge party at my place on Saturday night. However, on Saturday afternoon we have our local LPA chapter meeting. I just don't have much time to spend on a long creative post right now.

Actually, I have been thinking about taking a break from blogging for a while because of some things that have happened over the last couple weeks regarding my blog. There are some people out there who saw a post I really did not want anyone see.

Even though I deleted the post, I guess I wasn't quick enough and word of mouth travels way to fast. Especially with the Internet!

I need some time to think and figure out what I want to do with this blog, and if I really want to continue divulging my personal life knowing that it could come back to haunt me. I will be back once things settle down for me...and I have something interesting to say!

GUESTBOOK!

PLEASE sign my Guestbook!

You do not have to post a picture, although it would be cool if you did! I would love to know who my readers are, and I promise my life is bound to get more exciting so keep coming back for more. =)

NEW JOB!

As some of you may have heard, I got a new job and I start on Tuesday! I will be working for a company called Wellsbrooke Premium Home Health Care as a Nursing Assistant/Caregiver.

After the orientation on Tuesday and Wednesday I will be assigned a case or possibly more than one case.

The company works with both Children and Adults who have varying degrees of chronic or terminal illnesses as well as persons in need of social or therapeutic treatment or just assistance with the essential activities of daily living.

Since I am going back to school for Nursing (Pediatrics eventually) this job puts me right where I want to be for success in the future. Wish me Luck!

GOT CONFIDENCE?

We all have times when we don't feel as confident as we probably should, but lately I have been feeling really low.

Way to many people have been testing my confidence level lately and with everything else that has been going on (job searching, money troubles, BOYS etc...) I just don't have it in me anymore.

Hopefully once I start this job I will get my act together and start feeling good about myself again, but right now I seem to be sinking lower and lower everyday and I just can't seem to find anything that truly makes me happy.

Temporary happiness, yes. Like yesterday, I went out with a whole bunch of friends to what we call the River Potluck. This was my first time going with them, and I had more fun than I've had in a really long time. We all brought something to share and ate at a table, in canoes in the middle of the Huron River. The food was excellent, and the company was even better!

Then I came home and realized that it was all over, and I would be going to bed...alone... once again. It's not that it is a bad thing to be alone sometimes, but when you love cuddling as much as I do, and you are already feeling pretty down...all you want to do is have someone close to you all night, to help you from thinking about anything bad.

Anyway, the real point of this post is that I had an audition today and after waking up, getting dressed, doing my hair, and putting on my make-up, I could not bring myself to go to the audition.

It has been 7 years since I have been on stage, and I have been so nervous for the last 2 weeks, preparing for this audition, for a play I was not even super excited about to begin with. Now I'm not even going! What's up with that!!!!

I don't know what's wrong with me lately but I need to get my shit together!!!

Where have all the good friends gone?

I really wish I had more friends locally...

I suppose it is because I went to so many different schools, especially in high school, that I never really got the chance to make any lasting friendships. Most of the people that I went to high school with didn't even live here.

I only spent 6 months in Maine, but those were the friends that I became closest too and of course none of them lived here either.

In fact, my best friend was a girl from Japan, who I have since lost touch with. Hopefully I'll find here again someday.

The friends that I have made most recently live in Michigan, but too far away to just call up for a night out, or else they live in other states too.

Facebook has been a lifesaver for finding some of my old middle school friends and who knows... maybe that will lead to hanging out more. However, right now I just feel so alone.

The friends that I do have here, I really don't have anything in common with anymore.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE spending time with them, but they are all married or engaged...some have babies, and I am just not at that stage in my life yet.

I may be almost 30, but I am a young 30. I'm still in college,

I still enjoy going to clubs and bars, I just want to have fun!

If I happen to meet a great guy in the process that's even better, but I'm not out there seeking marriage.

I guess I am hoping that by getting back into theater that will open up a whole new world for me again. A world that I have missed for so many years. Only a true thespian can understand what I mean, but the friends you make in the theater almost always stick around.

After all what happens backstage....Stays backstage!

Higher taxes, Bad?

To be honest, I am so torn as to what to do…. In my previous post, I made it sound like I have already made my decision but I’m not really sure I have.

I have so much respect for a woman who supports disabilities, and from what I have read, Palin is also concerned with helping our economy. It seems like she also has a very good understanding of how to do so. The problem is that McCain does not!

Unfortunately, I am unemployed right now, can’t seem to find a job….and our country really needs a change. Obama may be the right choice for that. Although, I am not to thrilled about the idea of higher taxes. As it is right now, I can’t afford the taxes!!!

Without a college degree (I am in school but it will still be a while before I graduate) finding a job at all is tough, and finding one that actually pays well is near impossible!

Taxes only add to making things more expensive.

Perfection? Could be...

I have to be honest...

I really have not been into the election much at all so far.

Our choices were Obama and McCain and I had mixed feelings about both. However, after the announcement that Senator McCain picked his running mate, my vote has been creeping towards his side more and more.

Meet Sarah Palin:

Wife, Mother, Governor and my new hero...

I haven’t really had time to do my research on her, but my Dad and I just had a long talk this afternoon about what an amazing person she really is. Her views on abortion and such are very similar to mine, but we won't even get started on that one!

I was sold, just on that view alone. What he failed to mention was that she also had a child with Down Syndrome.

Having suffered all my life from various learning disabilities, that have both hindered my ability to succeed, yet also made me the person I am today…I have to agree that she just may be exactly what this country needs .

It takes a special person to raise a child with a disability, and there are so few people out there that are willing to do that.

If McCain and Gov. Palin can do at least one thing for this country, let it be to advocate for the needs of those who are unable to do so for themselves.

Unemployment

So everyone that I talked to when I lost my job said filing for unemployment was easy.

Ha!! Do they know who they are talking to?

I can turn even the simplest task into a long drawn out process. It seems like if it is going to happen to someone, it is almost always me who is going to have problems.

Anyway, here is the story... I was laid off on July 23rd and probably should have filed that day but I got busy, and actually didn't apply until the following week. So after the whole online application process, you're supposed to get a confirmation number. I don't know if it was something on my end or if it had something to do with the computers at the unemployment office but I DIDN'T get a confirmation number. All I got was a blank box where my only choice was to quit my application. So, that's what I did.

I then started a new application and this time after it was complete, I got my confirmation number and was told that I could call M.A.R.V.I.N on August 16th between 6-7 pm YAY!!! Right? .....Wrong! I called on August 16th and the automated system that they use at Marvin hung up on me! OK, fine whatever.....I'll call again tomorrow.

So, on Wednesday Aug 17th I call back and get hung up on again...saying we're sorry you are unable to register with Marvin until after August 25th. Ummm, OK....why is that?

So, I call the unemployment office again. This time they tell me that they have on record that I filled twice!!! So, I explain to them what happened when I first applied with the whole not getting a confirmation number....with me so far?

They tell me that they can fix it and it will be set back to the original date I was supposed to be approved. This way, I won't miss out on any of the money I should be getting....hopefully. To make an extremely long story kind of shorter....LoL, I finally got through to Marvin, and got everything sorted out yesterday.

Except that due to some new program that the government has going on, everything is taking longer than it should. They now have 5 weeks from the time I applied before they actually have to send my check out to me. This means that I may not get any money until after September 12th!!!!

At this rate, I'll be employed full time again before I even get my unemployment!

Procrastination at it's finest

Since I'm not working and have way too much time on my hands, I have been trying to find things to do to fill up my day. For the most part I have been pretty successful.

Applying for jobs, finding various plays that I can audition for, sitting on the phone for hours trying to get this whole unemployment thing straightened out. Oh yeah, that is nightmare in itself which will be in another post....

Anyway, while sitting at home one night, being bored out of mind but too tired to actually do anything about it, I came across this .

As crazy it may sound, I have become addicted to that too!!! LOL

I guess I have a ton of hobbies that I never really thought about and one of them is photography. Not really in the sense that I want to take classes and work in a portrait studio, but I am always the one at parties with a camera, and I am always taking pics of my friends and family. Now I found a way to take that hobby one step further and I think they turned out REALLY cute!

One for the girls...

A friend sent me this today and I thought it was too hilarious not to post so... ENJOY!!! A few of us lucky ones don't even have to think about this yet, but it's still pretty funny!

Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord my shape to keep. Please no wrinkles, Please no bags And please lift my butt before it sags. Please no age spots, Please no gray And as for my belly, Please take it away. Please keep me healthy, Please keep me young, And thank you Dear Lord, For all that you've done. Five tips for woman...

1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on, who doesn't lie to you.
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.

Foot Note: One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob:

"If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts."

Sign Me!

Hey Guys! My guestbook is looking a bit lonely.

Guestbook

Please stop by and show it some Love!

The Great Lakes State

It's been a few days and I've really got nothing super exciting to report. Things here in "the mitten" are just as boring as always...

Don't get me wrong, Michigan is an awesome place to be if you've never been here before, but living here all my life, it just doesn't have the same appeal as it does to tourists.

I am reminded of a few months ago, when a a group of people came here for a convention that I was volunteering at. After it was over, I took a friend of mine around town before he had to go to the airport and couldn't think of a single thing to do with him!!!

How sad is that? I have lived her for 29 years, and don't even know what to do when I have friends visiting from out of state.

Recently I met a guy who lives about 2 hours away from me. He occasionally makes it out to this side of town and wanted to know what we should do the next time we went out. I know I should have a better idea of things to do here, but aside from the occasional dance club, or mall, movie theater, comedy club, or Play. I guess I don't get out much...Lol!

BOYS!

“I don't wish to be everything to everyone, but I would like to be something to someone.”- Javan

Have you ever noticed that either you are single or you're not, and when you're not that's when most guys want to be with you?

I was in a relationship for over 2 years and it has taken me a while to get back into the dating scene. As soon as I opened up those doors again guys came crawling out from everywhere.

Yes, I know I shouldn't be complaining about that, but it's not really much fun when you have a handful of guys and you like them all.... Now I'm stuck choosing who I want to be with, and trying to find a way to let the other ones down without hurting them too much.

Guestbook

Story of my life... venting session

As most of you know, but many of you probably don't I lost my job a couple weeks ago.

Our economy really sucks right now. Especially for people in childcare. No jobs for parents means no jobs for teachers. YES, it was devastating, and YES, I am having a really difficult time financially but I'm confident it will all work out for the best.

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely loved my job (most days)

My babies were my life, and I will miss them like crazy, but I can't stay at a Day care center that...

1. Doesn't have it together enough to consistently have the same teacher with the same kids.

2. Cuts your hours just so they don't have to offer benefits.

3. Wants the classroom run a certain way, yet won't supply the appropriate materials to go with the lesson plan they force you to follow.

As if that wasn't bad enough, some people seem to be spreading an extremely vicious rumor about me. Although I have it under control it still hurts..... It hurts A LOT!!!

These people were supposed to be my friends, people that I care about deeply.

Without going into too much detail, one person in particular was the reason that I got involved in LPA in the first place. Even when calling to find out more information about the conference, I felt slightly out of place. However, since one of my best friends is an LP I was curious what, if anything I could do to show my support.

I got in touch with an absolutely fabulous woman (or so I thought) who invited me (and Danielle) to a BBQ with our local chapter. She was the one that welcomed me with open arms for months, convinced me not only to volunteer my time but also to become a member. She said that in addition to making a donation, LPA would love to have me as a "support member" and then after the conference was over, she turned on me. No explanation, nothing....

Here is the rest of the story...kinda.

I still felt a bit out of place at the first BBQ but as soon as I walked into the backyard I felt like I belonged.

After spending countless hours with this group, I connected with another woman. Mainly because she and I had one thing in common. She to was an AH woman who was a member because her best friend was an LP. Turns out both these women were NOT who I thought they were. I found out about 3 weeks after the conference that they had both been spreading a rumor about me. I was lucky that not too many people heard it before I did, and was able to stop it but yeah, It really hurts.

Anyway, I have already said way more than I should... but hopefully you get the idea.

I love the friends I have made over the last year, my volunteering at the conference was an experience I won't soon forget. I think about all "My babies" everyday and can't wait until NY when I can volunteer again and see them all again.

I just hope that the people who know me, will stand up for me.

I know that I am NOT that kind of person, most of you know that I am NOT that kind of person, nor would I ever do anything to embarrass my friends, or the organization.

It's kind of ironic, I was actually warned shortly after the conference began that LPA can be very cliquey.... Thanks!

* If cliquey means being two-faced then thanks but no thanks!*

I'll just stick with my own clique at the next event and anyone that wants to be a part of it is more than welcome.

Guess I know who my real friends are!

Jaime Ray Newman

What can be said about a girl that has achieved so much and continues to captivate her fans? From singer, to actress, to forming her own soul/funk/rock band, she just continues to amaze me. Veronica Mars is where Jaime first caught my attention. At first, I was not impressed with the show at all. Kristen Bell and I were friends all through middle school, so I had to watch at least one epi. Now I'm a super fan! It wasn't until I saw Jamie in Made of Honor that I became completely "infatuated". Not in a romantic crush kind of way but being an aspiring actress myself, I wanted to know everything about her . Who she was? Where she grew up? How she got into acting? For some reason she reminded me a lot of myself when I get on stage and I was curious why that was. So, I found out why. She's the same age as me, grew up in the same city I live in, and now she's living the life... She also got to be in a movie with "McDreamy".... Need I say more?

Now, the moment you've all been waiting for...

I know that I have been promising for a while to come back and tell you all what has been going on but I didn't want to jinx myself.

For starters, I have a couple interviews lined up in both New York and Los Angeles.

They are only phone interviews but if all goes well, I am hoping to move by the end of the year.

My preference would be LA because I have family there but we'll see what happens with the interviews and then I can decide.

I have been wanting to leave Michigan for about 4 years now but up until recently it just never seemed like the right time.

Now, for the most exciting news ever....at least it is for me.

I have an audition in less than 2 weeks to be in Seussical the Musical!!! Now, I realize that as musicals go this is not really a big deal, but it has been almost 7 years since I have been on stage and I need to start somewhere.

If I ever want to make it "big" I should be open to anything that will allow me to gain more experience. Right...?

I know I have what it takes to be in a much bigger production someday but for now, I will do anything just to show the world how talented I am.

My first year of college I almost quit acting all together...

During the first audition I went to, I was so nervous I started crying and ran out of the auditorium.

My acting instructor chased after me and said "Whatever you do....Don't ever let me see you walk off that stage again!""I see so much potential in you, and you have got something that I have never seen in any of my students, in all the years I have been teaching."

Thanks to a few words from a great teacher I am still getting on that stage to this day. Who knows? Maybe someday you can all say you knew me when.....

New blogger so please forgive me...

I'm just getting started so my blog may not be very exciting, at least not right away. Hopefully you will all check back frequently because I have a lot of exciting stuff happening. For now I will leave you wondering... but I promise to update soon!