Monday, December 8, 2008

All I want for Christmas is...

I have been a serious slacker when it comes to blogging. What has it been, over a month now?
With the new job, holiday parties and facebook addictions who has the time for blogging?
Anyway, this time of year brings back a lot of memories. Some are good, some are bad but it always gets me thinking. My Grandma passed away when I was only 17 and my Mom never really kept up the relationship with her side of the family. For years I was not able to celebrate Christmas with our family because I chose not to keep in contact with them either. It was never a conscious decision on my part or my Mom's we are both just horrible at keeping in touch with people.
After my Mom passed away I really started thinking about her side of the family and it occurred to me that if I don't start keeping in touch with my cousins now, I am not going to have much family left once I get older. I don't have any grandparents left, my dad is already getting up there in age, and my siblings are all much older than me. To make a long story short- er... for the last couple years it has once again become a tradition to enjoy the holidays with my family.
Growing up Jewish (my Dad is Jewish and my Mom converted) I was always torn between what I should believe and what I do believe so I chose not to believe at all. To me the holidays are about celebrating with family, enjoying what life has to offer, being happy and sharing with others. However, when my Dad found out that I was getting into the spirit of Christmas by stringing up lights in my bedroom a few years ago....he flipped out!!!
Now that I have been living on my own for a while, I have been contemplating about putting up a Christmas tree but I feel guilty because I know it would upset my dad. I am all for mixed relationships, and I have always said I want to meet a guy who makes me happy regardless of his religion but I don't want to feel the guilt that goes along with having a family that my father does not approve of.
My parents chose this life for me so why should I feel bad for trying to enjoy the best of the "cards that they dealt me"?

1 comment:

  1. Maybe you should just discuss these feelings with your dad. And hopefully, you can both compromise! That's great that you are reconnecting with your family. Family is the one thing that is solid in our lives!